About Valentine's Day...

Haven't had much time to blog lately due to...well, lots of reasons, but the best one is the impending deadline for my 2019 Scholastic book. But given the fact that the #MeToo has finally hit the kidlit world and tomorrow is Valentine's Day, Auntie Sarah wants to share a few words about love.

I hate Valentine's Day - I think it's a ridiculous holiday. I told my then boyfriend, now husband, that I never want or expect anything from him on V-Day. Here's why - because love isn't about a day where you get expensive presents, chocolate (okay, you can give me dark chocolate if you REALLY want to), and flowers which have been hiked in price because supply and demand.

Love, as far as Auntie Sarah is concerned, is shown by being there on a day-to-day basis, not by overpriced flowers and dinners on a prescribed day. By being supportive of your partner's career, and strong enough in your own self to rejoice in her successes, instead of feeling threatened by them. By believing your partner when she tells you about the experiences she had with harassment and abuse in life, and in the workplace. By taking action and having conversations with other men about how you can make the world a better place for her, instead of shrugging and saying: "boys will be boys."

Love is surprising your partner with flowers or chocolate or something you know she likes and will make her laugh - but when she least expects it, not just because you're supposed to because it's Valentine's Day and everyone else is doing it.

Love is laughing together. And crying together when hard times hit, and helping each other to find hope again.

Love is experiencing true intimacy when you talk about the things closest to your heart.

"But now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love."

The love and respect your partner shows you on a day-to-day basis is so much more important and revealing than the most extravagant prescribed expressions on Valentine's Day.

Go forth and love. But don't make it about the Hallmark Holiday.

/endrant

Dads of Daughters: This is how you do it

Ever since Mom passed away suddenly and unexpectedly in March, we've been going through her apartment, trying to get the place ready for sale. Mom saved everything. EVERYTHING. 

Today I found the speech that my father gave at my wedding. Of course, I heard it before, on Sept 3rd, 1989, but that was a long time ago, and I was pretty overwhelmed with emotions on the day. I remember crying at the time, but today when I found it, I cried again for completely different reasons. My father died in November 2013, but even before that he had lost the incredible intelligence and way with words that made him the man he was to Alzheimer's. But not the love for us. He never lost that. His eyes always lit up when he saw us, even if he didn't remember our names.

Finding this speech brought my father back to me and made me miss him all over again. But it also reminded me of how much of who I am is because of who he and Mom were. If I am brave, it was because Dad and Mom were brave. If I have the courage to stand up for what is right, it is because he and Mom were courageous. 

If I have now found the love and support of a good man who respects my intelligence, it is because my father deeply loved my mother and respected her intelligence. 

Fathers of daughters: This is how you do it.